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It’s that time of year again—fog machines are hissing, pumpkin spice is everywhere, and someone in your neighborhood is about to put on a latex mask and chase their friends with a rubber knife. But before you go full Michael Myers this Halloween, let’s take a peek behind the mask—at the Safety Data Sheet for the “Michael Myers Costume with Blood and Knife.”
This SDS reads more like a bedtime story than a horror script. No flammability. No carcinogens. No acute toxicity. In fact, under “Emergency Overview”, it says the product “contains no substances which, at their given concentration, are considered hazardous to health.”
Translation: The blood might look terrifying, but chemically it’s about as dangerous as cherry Kool-Aid.
(Ingredients include water, propylene glycol, and sodium carboxymethyl cellulose—aka the same thickener you’ll find in toothpaste and ice cream.)
The SDS does admit to one risk: eye irritation. So if fake blood splatters mid-costume party, resist the urge to rub your eyes.
Otherwise, you’re safe from… well, everything.
It’s so harmless, even OSHA might take the night off.
Despite what Hollywood taught us, this Michael Myers won’t burst into flames at the end of the movie. The SDS confirms: “Not flammable.”
Even if your costume gets near a jack-o’-lantern, the worst that’ll happen is a melted marshmallow.
In Section 12, the SDS assures us there’s “no substances known to be hazardous to the environment.” So while the character of Michael Myers may haunt generations, his costume’s fake blood won’t haunt your local wastewater treatment plant.
The Real Horror: A 2006 Time Capsule
This SDS was last updated in June 2006—a simpler time when iPods had click wheels and MySpace ruled social media. We may have survived many Halloween sequels since, but this document hasn’t seen an update in almost two decades. Still, like Michael himself, it just… keeps… coming… back.
TL;DR:
This “killer” costume is safer than your pumpkin spice latte. No fire, no poison, no problem—unless you count psychological trauma from seeing a 6-foot guy in a mask walking slowly toward you.
Happy haunting, and remember: Always check your SDS—because even fake blood deserves real data.